Fo(u)r You

Dear Olive,

Today you turn 4 years old! I can't believe that my little baby, my firstborn, is four. Four seems so different than the other ages you've turned. Four is the age of a kid. There is no baby left in you anymore.

I feel like I've spent much of your life feeling protective of you. Your sensitive little self. My little worrier. So, so thoughtful. You are the most empathetic child I've ever known. My hackles really go up when someone is rude to you or hurts you in any way. You are so innocent and sweet. You truly can't comprehend why someone would be mean. It would never cross your mind to hit someone or otherwise hurt people in any way.

When you cried constantly as an infant I was exhausted by it, but I also spent every second of every day trying to find things that made you happy, trying to comfort you. You wouldn't let anyone except for me or Daddy hold you or even look at you. You really made people feel like they earned your love. Now that we know you, we know that you are one discerning kiddo. You have to fully trust people before you let them in.

You are so unique. Unlike other children your age in so many ways. Incredibly smart and intuitive. You love to be helpful and you follow rules better than some adults.

You remember everything and every detail. You will sometimes ask me about something we did or saw many months earlier. Something that seemed insignificant and not at all memorable to me, you remember. Like what shoes you were wearing when we test drove a certain car. You remember that.

This last year you became a sister and watching you in that role has brought me such joy. At the end of my pregnancy with Mae I had a lot of guilty feelings. I worried about you not being the only child anymore, that I was somehow doing you a disservice by having another baby. Boy was I wrong. You are the absolute best sister Mae could have. She is so lucky. You are so helpful with her and so sweet. You call her "sweetheart" when she cries and love her an incredible amount. You always seem to know how to make her smile. She is happiest when you are near.

I am enjoying watching you grow up and turn into a kid, Olive. I enjoy spending time with you and thinking about all the things we'll do together as you grow even older.

You are my friend.

You are Olive, my love.

You have all of my love.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl.